Now that our man Joolz has been designated for assignment, us in RSN are out of luck..I mean, no more shoes with Papi's face on them, no more Manny rubbing Joolz' head, no more 'moonlighting' as a wannabe porn star...err...maybe scratch that last one.

 But, while I was at it, I figured I could shop around Joolz' services to the highest bidder. Sure, it may not be to a Major League franchise, but I mean, even Hot Dog vendors need security guards, so - here goes..

* Miming on the Streets of a Major Metropolitan City: Julian could paint his face white, throw on some suspenders, dust off his Papi shoes and get trapped in an imaginary box in Paris, or Sydney.

*Chocolate Covered Banana Sales: Ala 'Arrested Development' Tavarez should look into opening his own Banana Stand (or stealing the one on the boardwalk from the Korean Import) and draw in customers in a full length banana costume, smiling and giving children lollipops and sugar coated fruit.

*Big Game Hunting: Tavarez could go into the wild each week with either Timlin or Wakefield and proceed to shoot big game in the heart of Africa or the Amazon. They could bring cameras along and turn it into a reality TV show. C'mon, tell me you clowns wouldn't rather watch that than say...oh...I dunno, that horrible dating show on NESN.

* Street Fighting with Bas and Joolz: So, I ripped it from a video game. And replaced one of the characters. But who cares? Joolz teaching young, hungry fighters the exact way to throw the most vicious punch to whom ever is threatening you. Whether it be the local scallywag bum begging for change, or Joey Gathright breaking for home in a Grapefruit League game.

I'm sure there are a million and one other ideas, including Porn Star, which is probably the front runner at this point. But the truth is, we will miss you Julian, and all of your eccentricities. Good luck where ever you end up, whether it's in the National League, or the American. Just stay away from those Yanks. They're desperate, but - don't give in. It's just money, and there's always plenty of that for a guy like yourself laying around.  


Resuming radio silence.. ;)     

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