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The Lone Red...

36 years old
ALEXANDRIA, VA

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Top Baseball Speeches " I Believe in the Church of Baseball"
June 12, 2008

From Bull Durham The religion and baseball speech Annie gives.
Educated and witty it is just always fun to hear!

I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring... which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250... not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I've got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. 'Course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. 'Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball - now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.

-The Lone Red Seat

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Ted's Hall of Fame Acceptance Speech -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I guess every player thinks about going into the Hall of Fame. Now that the moment has come for me I find it difficult to say what is really in my heart. But I know it is the greatest thrill of my life. I received two hundred and eighty-odd votes from the writers. I know I didn't have two hundred and eighty-odd friends among the writers. I know they voted for me because they felt in their minds and in their hearts that I rated it, and I want to say to them: Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Today I am thinking about a lot of things. I am thinking about my playground director in San Diego, Rodney Luscomb, my high school coach, Wos Caldwell, and my managers, who had so much patience with me--fellows like Frank Shellenback, Donie Bush, Joe Cronin, and Joe McCarthy. I am thinking of Eddie Collins, who had so much faith in me--and to be in the Hall with him particularly, as well as those other great players, is a great honor. I'm sorry Eddie isn't here today. I'm thinking of Tom Yawkey. I have always said it: Tom Yawkey is the greatest owner in baseball. I was lucky to have played on the club he owned, and I'm grateful to him for being here today. But I'd not be leveling if I left it at that. Ballplayers are not born great. They're not born great hitters or pitchers or managers, and luck isn't a big factor. No one has come up with a substitute for hard work. I've never met a great player who didn't have to work harder at learning to play ball than anything else he ever did. To me it was the greatest fun I ever had, which probably explains why today I feel both humility and pride, because God let me play the game and learn to be good at it. The other day Willie Mays hit his five hundred and twenty-second homerun. He has gone past me, and he's pushing, and I say to him, 'go get 'em Willie.' Baseball gives every American boy a chance to excel. Not just to be as good as anybody else, but to be better. This is the nature of man and the name of the game. I hope some day Satchel Paige and Josh Gibson will be voted into the Hall of Fame as symbols of the great Negro players who are not here only because they weren't given the chance. As time goes on I'll be thinking baseball, teaching baseball, and arguing for baseball to keep it right on top of American sports, just as it is in Japan, Mexico, Venezuela, and other Latin American and South American countries. I know Casey feels the same way. . . . I also know I'll lose a dear friend if I don't stop talking. I'm eating into his time, and that is unforgivable. So in closing, I am greatful and know how lucky I was to have been born an American and had the chance to play the game I love, the greatest game." -Ted Williams July 25, 1966 Cooperstown, NY ...View More

06/12/2008 12:18 PM

CaliGrow..

Lou Gehrig -- Farewell Speech -- 7/4/1939 "Fans, for the past two weeks you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth. I have been in ballparks for seventeen years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you fans. "Look at these grand men. Which of you wouldn't consider it the highlight of his career just to associate with them for even one day? Sure, I'm lucky. Who wouldn't consider it an honor to have known Jacob Ruppert? Also, the builder of baseball's greatest empire, Ed Barrow? To have spent six years with that wonderful little fellow, Miller Huggins? Then to have spent the next nine years with that outstanding leader, that smart student of psychology, the best manager in baseball today, Joe McCarthy? Sure, I'm lucky. "When the New York Giants, a team you would give your right arm to beat, and vice versa, sends you a gift - that's something. When everybody down to the groundskeepers and those boys in white coats remember you with trophies - that's something. When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles with her own daughter - that's something. When you have a father and a mother who work all their lives so you can have an education and build your body - it's a blessing. When you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you dreamed existed - that's the finest I know. "So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for." ...View More

06/12/2008 12:26 PM

*Just*Ma..

	I too believe in the church of baseball I am the Reverend darkhalf ~RSM~ minister of the red sox faith . paster of the red sox evangelical movement . peace be with you 06/12/2008 12:38 PM
Darkhalf.. (online now)

	My favorite speech is: "Up Your Butt Joboo.. I do it myself " : ) LOL 06/12/2008 12:48 PM
Oregon D..

	Is very bad to drink JoBoo's rum, VERY BAD! (followed by jungle music) I LOVE MAJOR LEAGUE! 06/12/2008 12:56 PM
CaliGrow..

	Major League is one of the best movies ever! Too High!!!! 06/12/2008 12:59 PM
The Lone..

Ray, people will come, Ray. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway, not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. "Of course, we won't mind if you have a look around," you'll say. "It's only twenty dollars per person." They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it; for it is money they have and peace they lack. ________________ And they'll walk out to the bleachers, and sit in shirt-sleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game, and it'll be as if they'd dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick, they'll have to brush them away from their faces.____________(and the best line in the speech) The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and it could be again. Ohhhhhhhh, people will come, Ray. People will most definitely come. ...View More

06/12/2008 1:08 PM

CaliGrow..

What about Major League 2: with Rube: "I MADE THE ROOSTER" -- or -- Women: you can't live with them, and they can't pee standing up. -- or -- Tanaka: You have no... you have no... [looks in translation book] Tanaka: marbles! You have no marbles! Cerrano: Marbles? Huevos? Grrrrrrrrr -- or -- my favorite-- Rube Baker: Hey. Ya know Ricky, breaking up with a girlfriend can be a very painful thing. But it don't have to keep ya down for long. I mean, let me tell ya something from my own personal experience. I've never had a regular girlfriend like you, but I did get kicked in the balls once by a mule. Now, I thought I would be hurting for the rest of my life. But you know what happened the very next week? Rick Vaughn: What? Rube Baker: My momma died. Hell, after that, I didn't care no more about my balls hurtin'. You see what I'm gettin' at? ...View More

06/12/2008 2:29 PM

Oregon D..

	HEY BARTENDER JOBOO NEEDS A REFILL!!!! CLUNK 06/12/2008 2:31 PM
Oregon D..

	Jobu Rather :P 06/12/2008 2:37 PM
Oregon D..

	I love the quote from Field of Dreams, the mood it evokes is exactly how I think of baseball. 06/12/2008 2:39 PM
and Hepb..

	You beat me to it, CaliGrown. That's the one I was just going to look up. It's my all-time favorite. And, of course, it helps that they went to Fenway first! Which then leads to my favorite baseball quote in a movie . . . "is this heaven?" And here I'll change the answer to, "it's Fenway!" 06/12/2008 4:31 PM
Zilpha

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