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Gashouse Gang: Running Diary of Game 7
October 19, 2008
(As long as I have the connection/ option of editing, I plan on running this in real time...or as close to it as possible. I haven't been around for a while, but I really want to have some fun with game seven, and I think since I'm alone watching the Sox I should do it online and just type, type, type away. If you don't like it, I'm sorry. If you do, read along and leave your comments!)
So. No one else thinks Gene Hackman, specifically in Enemy Of The State, looks anything like Joe Maddon. Fine. I guess I was wrong..but...lets make check, before we begin - just to be sure:
 
Jeez, I think it's uncanny...
anyways - back to our regularly scheduled programming:
8:27PM: Carlos Pena up to bat against Lester, after retiring Upton and whomever hit before him. (Disclaimer: I've watched football all day, so the drinks have been flowing..forgive me if I tend to go all over the place)
Lil' Dusty knocked out a homer against Garza, who seems to be pissing and whining all around the mound regardless of what call he gets. It's early, of course, but this little wabbit looks a little flustered.
On the other hand, our boy Jon Lester looks sharp early, ready to redeem himself from the previous sub-par performance, and the chance to step on Maddon's nuts along with his glasses.
Yes..I did make a four-eyes joke. I'm not ashamed. It's the Rays, people. Game Seven! Time to get dirty!!
Pena is making Lester work now, fouling off some pitches, but Jon seems pretty locked in, cruising in fastballs at 95. Whatchu gonna do?
Strike three. Curve Ball. Eat it, punks.
Listen..Jon Miller is great on the radio, I love him calling a game. I have this penchant to listen to baseball on the radio. I have no idea why, but I love it. Joe Morgan makes me literally want to walk out into the busy street right outside of my basement apartment, from there, he makes me want to open the hood of my car, take my jumper cables, and attach them to my.....ears. Joe Morgan is to MLB what John Madden is to the NFL. A horrible, overpaid, overrated, waste of time and space. The career was great, now cash it in and buy a horse or something..becaue no one cares.
8:34PM: Bay leads off the inning, quickly dropping 0-2, and those pesky cowbells are ringing. I can only imagine the multi-colored mohawks in the crowd...ugh, spare me. Bay strikes out, and Miller won't tell me what inning it is so I don't have a clue. They just ramble on about nonsensical bullsh*&t like quantum physics and catwalks, cowbells and hipster glasses. I think I'm going to vomit..
Varitek steps up to the plate with two down, and thanks to Gamecast we're in the second. According to Gamecast the Sox have a 54% chance to win this game, going from something like 1.2% in the seventh inning of game 5 that's something pretty sweet.
Hey -- side note, anyone else see this? Old School WWF wreslter Brian Knobbs from the Nasty Boys gets thrown out of Fenway the other night. Don't believe it? Here, I've got proof! Hilarious stuff. Look at that AWFUL mullet-hawk!
Varitek........fouls off 3-2 into the dugout. Alright, alright...battle 'em out, el Capitan!
eek. curveball, strike three.
8:46PM: I love how the Tampa PA announcer is playing 'Paper Planes' by MIA. Now we're back to Joe Morgan and Jon Miller both fondling the Rays collective private parts. Yes they're young, yes, they are good. We understand that. But, so is Boston, or they wouldn't be here - herky jerkies.
Bottom Three - Cora leading off. Lester's knocked down six straight, now it's time to get some runs on the board, ladies!!
8:54PM: Joe Morgan, I DO NOT - REPEAT - DO NOT - want to hear about the Yankees 're-tooling' in the off season, nor the Blue Jays, nor the Orioles. Alright? This is GAME SEVEN OF THE 2008 AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES. You need to talk about the two TEAMS involved in the game. JESUS, who am I? The producer of the friggin' radio broadcast? Someone get this guy a bucket of ice, please!
Coco is making Garza work, this kid has thrown a TON of pitches already. I can only imagine the thought process on the mound right now: "Jesus, what else can I throw? This guy is hitting f*%cking .500 in the series! "
eek....hold that, strike out. Ten second station ID.
Hey Sawxheads. It's Mig, polluting your thoughts and blabbering on about nothing.
Little Dusty, full of big knocks, is up to the plate now - and we'll see if Garza is spooked at all.
0-2....
Lets be real, how many of these people are actually fans of Tampa Bay, or how many of them think they're at HARDCORE bingo?
Garza plunks Pedey with a 96 mph fastball. We don't like that, no we don't.
Papi steps in, with the shift in place, strike one. Just get a piece of something here, Large One, that's all we need. 1-1, as Garza aims for the dugout, apparently.
0-2 - with a little chatter from Papi to Brian Gorman. Seems this guy has been kind of all around the plate tonight, can't tell for sure though, as I'm not physically watching the game. Pedey steals second, and we've got a runner in scoring position. Here we go, fellas!
ugh. Fifth strike out of the game for Garza. Oh well, we've still got one!
Lester is still looking sharp, breezing through the first batter. Baldelli steps in, quickly dropping to 1-2. Strike outs around. Two down, suckas. Say something...
One pitch, one out. Holllllerrrr..
9:15PM: Gorman getting a lot of noise from both sides tonight. 1-2 to Youk, and Jon Miller sounds simply astounded that the Red Sox are only one win away - without Manny - to the World Series.
Not like they didn't win last year. Jeez..
Youk grounds out, even with Longoria's continued attempts to set the record for most LCS errors in a series.
Drew takes ball one, the 60th from Garza. Let's see if JD can keep it going for us here..we need some baserunners, fellas. Dammit, fly out to Pena...and we've got two outs. Let's go J-BAY!
Good Lord, Strike three. Inning over. Alright Lester, sorry, but you're on. I wish we could give you a little breathing room!
9:23PM: Aki Iwamura gets the first hit, and base runner of the game. Upton is stepping into the box, again with Miller and Morgan touching him in the private areas concerning his home runs.
Lester strikes out Upton, and Pena is ready to salsa his way into the batters box. That isn't a hispanic joke either, alright? That music he walks up to is awful, just awful. It sounds like a Taco Bell theme song on extacy.
Shift is on, and we'll see if Pena tries to get silly and drop one down. They get the lead runner at second, with a nice play from Dusty and Youk, and Eva's ugly step-brother steps into the box as the cow bells go clunking.
9:32PM: I hate this guy, Longoria. I hate him. God dammit. Son of a B. Alright, alright..here we go.
Crawford chases a high fastball, and the inning is over. Now we NEED some runs, fellas. Lets get it done, alright?
9:39PM: Kotsay is up, and he keeps getting high fastballs. Pops up, followed up Varitek grounding to first...sweet...
10:02PM: 2-1 Rays, Coco stepping in, taking a first pitch strike.
-Moooooo
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