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A message from Wally to Corporate Big Wigs, Executives, Soccer Moms, and Jordan's Furniture Employees
October 15, 2008
WAKE THE HELL UP!! YOU HEARD ME!
you want this baseball tossed through your frontal lobe?! That's right, didn't think so. So - wake your lazy, pompous, non-caring asses up and CHEER for the Red Sox.
Fenway Park is not your uncle Fester's funeral. You don't sit around on your hands watching quietly as the likes of BJ Upton, Evan (so cool I added an 'N') Longoria, and Haverhill's favorite Sox Reject, Carlos Pena step on our nuts and fondle our girlfriends. I will have no more of it!!! NONE!
So, who is with me?! Who is going to RISE to their feet on Thursday from the FIRST pitch to the last one?!
I want BJ Upton getting LOST in centerfield because he's being barraged with batteries, amebas and some undisclosed airbourne defficiency.
I want Joe Maddon's glasses ripped from his face and squashed by each person that walks through the turnstiles. Take that, hipster.
I want Johnny Gomes suspended from Pesky's Pole by his jock, and I want Ortiz peppering him with BP shots for six solid hours.
Bring your pitchforks, bring your fire! Bring your luggage and your booze-filled profanaties!! Ladies, put your children to bed and show off the goods! Anything right now to get this thing back to Tampa, and then of course, BACK TO THE FENS FOR THE WORLD SERIES!
Oh yeah..and one more thing, I want Varitek away from any piece of lumber that says Louisville.
GO SOX! I need to get back to boozing and snorting lines of paprika! PARTY TIME FOLKS - WE'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE! SO NOW WE GOTTA DO IT AGAIN!!!!
-Moooooo
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