Don Darkhalf...

Male 51 years old REVERE, MA

Daer readers I know have been remiss in my duties of late and my sermons have been absent from these pages for this I apologize , however I have returned to my pulpit and post this homily of our faith

  Having dispatched the Mariners and their leader Ichy bum the wicked in the lands of mist and rain ,  our intrepid lads are winging their way to the Fens  as we speak.

I hear the mob has taken out a hit on the skanks and the evil Hank , Santino and Tessio will transport the boys the final distance in the family’s caddy’s. Bats are the weapons of choice for this hit, and sox bats will be reinforced by the addition of the Large Father .

Tomorrow the hourde from the land of the pink hats and poser’s arrive and the sox will do pitched battle against the forces of darkness once again . As they send Josh Beckett defender of the realm , 9-6, 3.97 to face Jaba the hut Chamberlain (he of the infestation of midges ) 2-3, 2.52. Lets hope the Hut has used his deodorant and the midges do not pose a problem.

And so dear readers once again , our beloved sox will attempt to dispatch the evil horde and the forces of darkness from the land of the hopeless and damned , they will do battle in the shadow of the aftermath of their last apocalypse , and try to cut off the head of the Demon , (or is that Damon ) and make the American league east safe for families to attend games once again.

Into the fiery pit of Desolation we shall throw Gay Rod and the dreaded thong of many users , along with the diseases and stenches they emit!!! And remember it has been pre ordained the sox will prevail over the evil empire in the land of the wicked , So shall it be written so shall it be done !!

Johnny Damon looked very pleased after the Daily News presented the Yanks with new thongs on Friday. 'I will definitely wear it if I can,' he said.

Darkhalf~RSM~

Minister of Red Sox faith