And so the clock ticks on. Was it all a bad dream?

 Well..after a sweep of the woeful A's I hardly doubt it. But, since this is the pop culture age, I'd simply like to ask you all..since I've been under a rock, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!

 All of the sudden The Guy That Swatted In Pittsburgh is patrolling left-field in the Fens, hitting triples, swatting doubles, drawing walks, knocking out bombs, helping the elderly in the mornings at the local Dunkin' Donuts, saving children from the Charles, and, of course, oh so discreetly fondling your girlfriend.

 Now, just because we've swept a series does not mean I'm ready to give in to the notion that the World Series is in the bag, we'll be downing cans of Bud Light, smoking joints and hooking up with wasted co-eds dancing in the street, I mean, lets be real -- not all my fantasies can come true at once, can they?

 I digress...

 Did we get hosed in this deal? Probably. Probably not. I'm undecided right now. I mean, Hansen had all the potential in the world, but he seemed to always have a knack for punching a one way ticket to Jupiter every time we needed him in a big spot. Moss seemed to have some star-power as well, and many people were calling for him to start earlier in the season over Drew, with a few scouts saying they seemed to be the same player, give or take 73 million dollars...but who's counting?

 Now, the Manny being Manny days are over. I'm sad. Going into this season I really assumed this was the year for Manny. He gave us a wonderful post-season, opened up to the media, smiled as if Quiznos paid him twenty grand to advertise Sammies between his teeth, and came into the season as if he was the Terminator after honing his skills with shotguns and C-4. I really believed the oaf when he said he was going to retire in Boston.

 Then, we all know what followed...

 Manny being a Dickweed..and Moo falling into a cavernous hole and not returning. Do I wish I wasn't stuck in some ditch somewhere? Yes, of course. Do I think if I wasn't stuck in some hole I may have been able to have a talk with Manny, maybe get him on the right track? Probably.

 Do you think, for one second, if I didn't have a tiny bit of notice, I would've dressed up as the mailman, fully ready to commit multiple federal offenses and refuse to deliver whatever mail possible to Scott Boras, yet have the ability and access to corner him in his home, with reckless disregard for myself and others? Ab-so-friggin-lutely. I'll tell you one thing, I hate that man more than I hate cockroaches and alien life forms. In that order, seriously. 1: Scott Boras, 1A: The destruction of the world 2: Cockroaches 3: Alien life forms.

  Anyways. Do you think there's a shot for a cow like me with a dame like Maggie Gyllenhall? Because, lemme tell you...wow.

I keep looking back at the trade in '04, shipping Nomar to the South Side and me sitting in front of my computer completely dazed. We know what happened after that, but this one, I'm not so sure. The clubhouse certainly seems more relaxed, but could that just be the hookers that Theo ordered for the weekend? I'm not sure.

 These guys are tricky, and we'll see more of the Jason Bay Project tomorrow, on the road, where our boys are WAY less than .500 and I guess we'll see what happens. Kansas City always seems to be a nice place to drop a boot on a collective throat, though.

 And with that, my friends..

 commencing radio silence.